Walked in expecting you’d be late
But you’ve got here early, you stand and wave
I walk to you…
You pull my chair and help me in, you dont know how nice that is
But I do…
And you throw you head back laughing like a, little kid
I think it’s strange cause you think that I’m funny
Cause he never did…
I’ve been spenting the last 6 months,
Thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn, and end…
But on a Wednesday, in that C-K
I watched it begin again
I dont know much about the mean things that Taylor put in her records about her ex-bf and I dont really care either. It’s just the song I care about and this one is particularly special to me. And I think it speaks to anyone who was in and out relationship so many times that they get frustrated. But then, they met someone that makes them feel hope in love again.
I’ve been through a lot of up and down recently. Mostly down. I know life would never be easy. But sometimes it really gets tough. C’est la Vie! What can I expect? No I dont expect much. But at least I hope that I’d find someone who’s nice and kind enough, who can see me as who I am and loves me for that. Well, let’s just say I haven’t had any luck yet.
Then when I was about giving up and accept to love myself… double, I met him.
Like long lost friends (and truly we are) we talked for hours and it seemed like minutes just passed. It’s strange, but nicely strange, that being with him, for the first time I somehow, felt safe again.
Do I hope too soon? Maybe yes. Last time I did, I fell really bad. I just can’t believe I can feel secured ever again. Hardly to blame anyone but me. If i let bad things happen to me, it means I have failed to protect myself. Bad people do bad things. I just cant blame them for hurting me. Yet like a bird who once broke its own wings, I am too afraid to take flight, as if I would hurt myself again.
But if I dont try, I will never find out. So maybe I should take the risk, trust my instinct one more time. If I failed, at least I would fail-trying, I would have no regret.